……we are going on a silent retreat.
I’m putting the last bits and pieces together this morning before I leave for four days of yoga, meditation, and nature, but most importantly silence for FOUR days! Yeppers, I’m going for the no talks for FOUR DAYS!
This is my first multi day silent retreat. Up until now I have only done single silent days. I’m always nervous the morning of – How will I be able to stay quite all day? What if I accidently talk? What if it’s a horrible day and I don’t want to be with me? What if I can’t settle? Ugh, all the what if’s! But then I get there, settle in and I don’t want to leave – I don’t want to integrate back into society.
Let me tell you the story of my first silent day experience. I was so anxious I thought for sure I would run from the room screaming, within the first five minutes, obviously. As funny as that would have been I settled quite easily and when we were invited to speak at the end I didn’t want to! I made it home safely but as I was getting out of my car, my nicest neighbour walks by and asks “How was your day? What did you do?” and my response was ‘I can’t talk to you right now’. Seriously I said that. Did I mention that my neighbour was from Newfoundland, so clearly the nicest person ever! When I processed the reaction on his face, I realised what I had said and immediately apologized. I explained that I was just getting back from a silent day and wasn’t quite ready to talk yet. This neighbour has since moved, so I don’t need to warn them of my return 😉
While I was panicked yesterday, rushing to get everything done before I leave, fretting that I will be out of touch for four days, worrying that I won’t be able to do a chin-up or post a 100 happy day, I am now ready to review and reset. Don’t worry I’ll pick up my chin-ups when I return or find a tree. And I know there will be lots of happiness, but it will just be for me. Maybe I will have huge revitalization and have the direction I’ve been longing for to start my life with my new found passion. Or maybe I will only get a little nugget of realization, but either way, I am sure to get something out of it.
It’s time to head off, shut off from the world, I’ll see you on the other side.